Feet Fail Me Not...: Shipyard Portland Half Marathon RECAP

Daily Mile: I am pissed.

I get it… when the weather is not on your side during a race the chances that you won’t get a PR is pretty high. I get it… summer races are probably not the best time of year to try and achieve that goal. I get it… I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because of the conditions. Conditions where it sent people to the hospital or drop out of a race. I understand all this and I will get over it. But right now I am pissed.

It is beyond frustrating that you train so hard and have a mindset you are going to try and get that PR but you CAN’T because the heat and humidity wanted come out to play that day. And I still cannot swallow the idea that you put all this time in to fulfill something you’ve wanted for so long but ‘possibly’ can’t achieve because on that day… the weather may not want you to. All day yesterday after the race I was thinking “why am I doing this? Why are these goals so important to me? So many effin times I haven’t been able to achieve them because of the ‘conditions’. Is it worth it anymore?”

I know down deep it is worth it but my attitude is blocking me from feeling it. I really wanted to test out my training but once again I effing couldn’t.

I’m pissed... but I will get over it.

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Everything.single.thing went right as soon as I woke up until I got to the starting line. My legs were ready, I was excited, my stomach didn’t go crazy, I felt relaxed, my warm-up miles were awesome… everything I ever expected to go right before the race did. I even lined up with the 7:30/group because I felt that confident. I planned to hydrate myself properly by throwing water on my head at every station, take my salt pills, drink my Gatorade, etc. “I got this” I thought. I was so happy to see Patricia R., Gina G. and Rosa about 10 minutes before the start. Seeing their smiling faces really boost my confidence.

My original race plan was to run around a 7:35 pace up until mile 10 then balls to the wall. Instead I planned to start at 7:45 (to adjust to the heat) and get over this ‘steep’ hill where they advertised that you ‘may need to walk up’. To me that wasn’t an option. Get through mile 3 then adjust was the new plan. The race started and I settled into my pace. It felt EASY but I didn’t care. I wanted to hold back until I got past that hill. I was very surprised and excited to see Danielle S. and Sarah E. 3 minutes into the race… They were cheering on the side and I waved with the same excitement! When the hill came up I just put my head down and backed off the pace a bit. That hill was beyond steep (wtf) and personally not necessary lol! But I didn’t walk.

Miles 1 – 3 = 7:40, 7: 7:48, 8:18

After the hill , I held back the pace just to catch my breath for a mile and then tried pushing it. Luckily I had a huge downhill to help get my momentum going. I felt amazing. My legs felt strong and I was in a grove. The sun was on our backs and I ran a bit in the shade for the most part… then I got to mile 5. I was running right into the sun. Even though the road was flat the sun was right in my face. No clouds and no shade. None what so ever. Then… out of nowhere my body start to not respond. Weird? I feel ok but why am I slowing down…. Then I started to struggle a bit. “There is no way I can hold this pace for the next 7+ miles”. I started to get REALLY hot. I tried to fight through it and then I saw this long hill in the distance. Now, I don’t mind hills. I actually do well on them and where I usually pass people. When I got to the hill I put my head down and fought through… but … I had to walk 4 steps. ME WALK UP A HILL?! It pissed me off so I just shuffled the rest up it. Then.. in the distance I heard cow bells. And of course it was Danielle S. and Sarah E. making all that noise!! I couldn’t help but laugh but inside I was struggling a lot.

Miles 4 – 6 = 7:45, 7:30, 8:01

I tried to hold on but I felt myself slowing down. Each mile that passed my legs kept losing it’s hiccup. And at the mile 8 water stop… I walked. I stopped to hydrate myself and to give me a minute. But that was the beginning of the end for me. A minute after mile 8 I ran into a group of people hovering over a guy and I had to stop. I walked up to him to see if he was ok and he was not. As people went to get help I offered him my salt pill. He felt bad taking it but I didn’t care. Luckily he knew what a salt pill was and took it. People who don’t are a bit scared to take anything with the word ‘pill’ in it. I continued on while the medics came over. That is when I knew it was time to back off. I was hurting and I felt nauseas. I started to walk. A lot. I didn’t want to be that guy.

Miles 7 – 9 = 8:38, 8:30, 9:12

I was running with a few people who were in my pace group and we all agreed it wasn’t our day. As soon as I said those words out loud I started to sing (?). I decided to just try and get the miles in and enjoy it a bit… singing and running is hard but it’s better than feeling bad and hating the moment. I don’t know if people appreciated my singing voice but I didn’t care. Probably wasn’t the smartest thing for me to do because by mile 11 I started to feel sick. “you should’ve conserved your energy you idiot”. As I was hydrating at the mile 11 water stop (which btw had some shade) I was with this girl who looked really bad. Let’s call her Suzie. Her breathing was off and she just looked awful. I knew I didn’t want to get to that point (especially being way off my PR) so I tried to play it smart. I ran/walked mile 12 which was my slowest mile. I didn’t care… I just wanted to get to the finish.

Miles 10 – 12 = 9:37, 9:39, 10:14 (eesh)

I told myself that I will NOT walk during the last mile. “Just take it slow and move your legs. That’s it.” As Norman M. would say “Pick em up and put em down”. As I was doing that, the nausea was getting worse but I knew I would see Danielle S. and Sarah E.up ahead so I set a goal to reach them… and when I did they wonderfully jumped in with me! I really needed it. Their positive energy distracted me while I ran. Even though it was for a few minutes it was all I needed to push the rest of the way. I started to pick it up after they dropped off and I kept focusing forward. I then realized how concerned Jim was going to be since he hasn’t seen me yet. I was already 15 minutes off my time and knew he would try and find me. So I ran harder. The mile 13 sign passed me and I got excited knowing I had .10 miles to go… that came and went… .20…. .30!!!! what the eff!? There was a 5K race as well and when I saw THEIR 3 mile marker up ahead I was pissed… I finally saw the finish line in the distance and sprinted towards it. Pretty dumb actually but I hate not finishing a race hard. I crossed the finish line and felt so sick all I could whisper was “Jim, Jim, Jim” trying to find him. I looked to my right at the medical tent and that poor girl Suzie from earlier was in a bed. “you are not that bad Sarah keep walking”.. but I felt like shit. And felt really bad for her.

Miles 13+ = 8:36, xxx?

I finally found Jim and broke down a bit. He understood everything I was feeling without saying a word. He knew how hard I worked to get here and my reasons for it all. He knew that it was out of my control… I didn’t have to say anything and he got it. He gave me a hug and just kept trying to get me hydrated, changed, fueled and most importantly into the beer tent =) Later on that day we talked about what happened. I get it… it was out of my control… but I just wanted one more race to prove my ability. I guess that race will be proven on October 6th… at the marathon.